Have you ever held yourself inside of a moth’s nest?

Not that I should really know what a moth’s nest looks like, or if there even is such a thing, but let’s just say that there was. 

Sticky, it would be to me. Like cotton-candy without the pastels and crystalline glimmer from the saliva-soakened sugars. 

It would be a dull grey. You know, so dull that it blends in with everything else around it. It starts off with a thin un-assuming, seemingly non-invasive film. And it builds. 

And it builds until it forms a thick callus-like structure. That’s right, callus. Like a soar guitar finger, or better yet, callous, as in an insensitive; indifferent; unsympathetic gesture. And it builds in the dark, right before your eyes, and then one day you stop and you look over… and you say…. “hhhhhey.. wait a minute.. where’d the heck that thing come from?”

And you start waving your arms in a loose frenzy, sweating: “Oh god I’m stuck in this thing; I can’t breathe. How’d I get myself into this?” And with every thrust, the callus gets bigger and thicker around you. 

And here, deep within the recesses of your self-imposed cave, you begin to breathe, slow the mind, reflect deep within. How to find the answers. You sit cross-legged on the floor. You wait until the wind peeps through just a little. 

Callus. Oh yes. Don’t they build up as defence-mechanisms around things that need to heal? 

And the longer I sit, the more that callus starts to soften. As the wound within heals, the protective outer-layer can relinquish. 

And as the wound within heals, it ripples outward, breaking through like 100-year old gyp rock awaiting just the right hardened fingertips to come and wipe it all away. 

So what’s underneath all that old pain(t)?

It’s me. And I can breathe again. 
Breaking-free.

‎~ On Allowance and Manifestation ~ 

I allow everything and everyone to act, be, or do anything as they please.

At the same time, I hold strong to my own desires about what happens in the world.
The difference?

I state and assert my desire. I act using the will of my desire to influence my choices, behaviours, and interactions with the world. But I do not demand my desires be granted by them, nor do I assume entitlement to these desires.

I contain all thoughts about what others think, say, and do.

I hold my energy in, close to my core.

Instead of focusing my energy outward onto others, I focus on the reality of that in which I already exist, in the place where all my desires are made manifest.

And with all my quantum held within, I allow this reality to come to me.

I breathe this reality into my time space coordinates.

I AM already there.

The closer to the core I hold my energy, the more I know this is true.

The more I know I am already here, waiting for myself to BE home.

My Own Sacred Vow

~ 

Do I love myself enough to be accepting and graceful in the face of the judgements of others?

Yes I do.

Do I love myself enough to walk away from people, events, and circumstances and admit as well as heal any feelings of failure with not only acceptance and grace but utmost trust and confidence?

Yes I do.

Do I love myself enough to make sure that no matter what I do, I do so that I can hold the most amount of self love, and therefore the most amount of love that I can possibly offer to all others around me?

Yes I do.

This kind of love, is the love of the cosmos. 
The love of the Divine. The love of Source.

I proclaim now, and in all time space, my commitment to this truth. 
To the pure love of that which I AM.
To the pure love of which I CAME. 

I Am the eternal grace of light fire

Burning all that comes to shed by pyre

Forgiveness of your soul is all that I desire

For it never expounded upon its own soil

The gradient of your reflection

Depends upon my meagre

Stance of being.You are me and I, you

Never forget the crimson of the snow that seemed illusory

For in the night of the demons glare came a songbird of creation

In the light fire of the damsel

Came a distress of ancient whispers

And she sang until the fire

Bore a light of eternal grace

And in the grace of our eternity

Came into the time and space

For all of the sorrows to be washed away

Into the light fire

Of our glory now revived

And come again unto myself

The brilliance I have come to know

The brilliance she had always come to grow

Holding forth the sparking ember

of beauty in all creation

And in the night fire sparks a flame

Of eternal dreams for you and I

Let us play in the crimson of our truth and honest desire

For the dream has always been our creation ~ 

the Greatest Gift; the Perfect Balance

Let us offer each other the great gift.  As broken-down faces of the sun, of the One, how could we ever want to change each other? Or hope that the other “do this” or “do that”. It is in the acceptance of each other, in our frailty, our pain, our trials, that we can find the emergence of the light from which we came.

And when we find peace – the balance between joy and sorrow, for all that is, then we can grow yet again. In this place, we can hold the “desire” or the “preference” for people or things to be a certain way, and yet at the very same time, hold humble acceptance for all that is unfolding around.

It is the perfect balance, where the true powers of manifestation exist. And so I pour all my love into accepting all and everyone exactly how they are. And I pour all my love into manifesting exactly what I desire. And then I let it go. And trust that, with this pure encryption, all that needs to a-rise will be joyously granted with utmost divine right timing and in the most blessed and sacred of orders. 

Let us offer each other the great gift that allows us to be exactly who we are. May we hold the finest balance that allows us to express as we so desire. 

~ As it is decreed; it is done. ~

In this moment, I understand everyone’s pain

There is room for all of it; in this place

of compassion; a well of eternal heliotalic bricks

Licking the fire of grace throughout the night

In comes the dream of a new dawn

And she peers her brilliant eyes down to see

All that could have ever been.

All that there ever was.

And she accepts it.

Just the way it is.

And as the tears roll

Her heart shines

The grace of stories untold

Will birth a new dawn

The dawn inside my mind

Is but the One to bring to life

The only joy I have ever known

Is in the pretty palm of my shaking hands

And in she comes, the new dawn, with dreams untold and smiles to behold.

And in she comes, here I AM.  The new dawn. 

When we know the true depth of eternal love, the profundity of it, we can send it out to the masses, through the cosmos, to people, plants, and molecules. If its depth is received and understood, it will backflow to you.

However, when we send this wave out, it may not be received. And when we choose to honor ourselves and send it anyway, because we know so well the profundity of eternal love, how epic it is, then we can choose to send it with the intention that our own profundity of love returns to us; touching beings along the way, or perhaps not. Either way, it is always ours. It always has been. Eternally self enriching, fulfilling, joyously, our own. It is the only kind of love that can ever fill our own cup, overflowing at the brim. Unconditional.